wark
Creatures of the plane are crushed beneath our feet as we obtain the resources necessary to reclaim the throne of which I, Gregg, am the rightful heir! Bear witness to our exploits wark:
The indomitable Swoosh Mkutz, the conniving Dr. Bartholomaus Viehzuchter, and the legendary innskeep, Drehs Saki were hired protect a puny Elfling whilst it acquired the silks of the Giant Spiders wark.
Along the way, Swoosh consumed the unborn progeny of the bestial Ettercap, the army acquired the wagon that secretly housed them and the gold stored within. With our upgraded arsenal, we marched upon the spiders’ lair, making short work of the pathetic creatures before disemboweling them, harvesting their silk, and collecting their entrails upon our wagon wark.
Soon, however, we found that a foolish cadre of bandits had pursued us, believing they could attack us in a weakened state. They failed to recognize that the Unomi Empire has no state of weakness wark!
We crushed three of their companions, including their feeble leader, and recruited the remaining three, one of which was promoted to the captain of our fledgling army.
Our employer took this moment to impart payment and escape in its cowardice wark.
Unfortunately, the Ettercap returned to collect its zygotic offspring, finding only our wrath wark.
Though it took our captain, we promoted a new captain from the remaining two members of our army, who demonstrated their loyalty by pushing through their fear to attack the beast.
With our legions grown by two, our new army lead us to their lair, where we settled to plot our next steps to total domination of this plane… and the next! MWAHAHAHAHA wark
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