Drehs Saki here, updating you on the rise of The Foot and the downfall of the Tortletoni’s. My genius plan to earn enough money to forge a criminal empire is progressing precisely as planned. While most of the fools in the town alluded to priceless treasures awaiting those who enter the Burrowmaize, I knew that real power lies within discounts on wares from Valeron (whatever he sells). I organized an elite team of minions: Gregg, a Mindflayer driving a sword armed Warforged from the midsection; Dr. Bartholomaus Viehzucter, a Simic hybrid artificer; and Swoosh M’Kutz, a snappingtortle Cleric of the Storms. I am pretty sure my armor intimidated them all into obedience (the spikes stay glued on for days now).
Valeron requested body guards while harvesting silk from giant spiders. I seized the opportunity and rallied my minions. After a brief interruption on the way to the spiders involving a giant egg sack and Swoosh’s unrelenting appetite, Gregg took initiative and elder blasted a spider that was getting too close. I easily tore the giant spider and it’s friend to pieces (didn’t even lose a spike during the battle). Of course Gregg screamed a lot, the doctor spit some acid, and Swoosh got a few lucky shots in with his cross bow, but regardless, the battle was mine.
My victory was short lived, for 5 bandits and their captain ambushed us on the way back to town. Again, I didn’t even get a dent in my armor during the first. Swoosh became obsessed with his death knoll bell, Gregg screamed some more, and the Doctor hid somewhere while I intimidated the surviving bandits to become part of The Foot (or whatever that empire Gregg’s people are trying to create, minor details, moving on).
On our last stretch to the town we were attacked by a different kind of giant spider (the mom of the sack filled with eggs at the peak of gestation– according to Gregg who decided to nerd out on giant spider life cycles because that’s the kind of person he is– that Swoosh had eaten earlier).
At this point, I was obviously a master at killing giant spiders and humiliated the creature while only losing one or two of my new bandit minions in the process. Swoosh feasted on the spiders oozing head and we all had a good laugh. We made it to town without further interruptions.
Valeron kept his word on payment for some reason and we took over the new minion bandit’s cave. It’s much cleaner than my inn, The Footrest, ever was, and seeing as how the roof just fell in, I believe we have found our new base of operations. It is only a matter of time before I find the Tortletonis and put an end to whatever they’re doing. Vengeance will be mine!