There may be some misunderstanding going around town about a certain situation that transpired recently. Yes, it is true the Tortletoni’s and friends erased another adventuring group from the mortal plane but they HAD IT COMING, the jabroni bastards!
Look, it all started when this juvenile bronze dragon landed in town. His name was Barnaby and he was looking for his friends another (different) group of adventurers that he thought he had befriended. They promised to throw him a birthday party. Well as it turns out this other group was a bunch of jerks that just wanted to steal items from Barnaby’s treasure horde as he was just starting to build it.
I was talking to Mazzahs the Arcanist explaining to him that Barnaby was a friendly dragon and that we needed some fireworks for his birthday party, not fireballs to try and take the young dragon out. Barnaby was enjoying his first barrel of mead EVER – a right of passage we should all be happy to share, while Mikey was pulling the whole party together and the townsfolk were getting a little bit more comfortable with the whole situation.
Then Frankie and Tony noticed this other group of duchenozzels flanking around the town square where the party was being held. They called them out on their skulking and told them this was a party not a combat situation. Well these peat-brained numbskulls decided they were more interested in the price of a bronze dragon’s hide than sharing a drink with a freaking dragon!
Did we strike first? Yeah! Did a couple of them get their heads chopped off? Yeah! Did I use my Hex Glaive to slapshot one of their groins into a nearby trash bin? YEAH! Did Barnaby tear one of these jabronis to shreds after finding the courage to defend himself from these bastards? HELL YEAH!
After that the party was a blast and Barnaby is now a friend to the town. Will we see him again? Can’t say for sure, but I hope so. What I can say is that momma and pappa Bronze dragon won’t be showing up to raze the town in hellfire as retribution for their boy being skinned. YOU’RE WELCOME.
The Tortletonis meet Barnaby the Brass Dragon, as illustrated by Miguelle De Tortleatoni
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