Hear ye, Hear ye, I got a REAL BOZO ta tell you all about. This JABRONI betta be growing eyes in the back of his head, because he’s livin’ on borrowed time! I’m talking about MASON THE METAL, the highwayman and thief – and I gotta believe murderer – who tried to kill me and my friends as we headed back to town.
So how did all this transpire? Good question, I’m gonna tell yous…
My friends and I (June, Miguelle, Casan, and Victoria) went into the Barrows after we heard about a party of adventurers who hadn’t made it back to their guide by the appointed time, and were assumed dead or trapped in the Barrows. We went looking for the group with the guide who had lead them out to the Barrows…
Heads up, some of the bridges in the swamps have had infestations of wasps underneath them. If you need to take the bridge, I highly recommend tricking these insects with sounds of their natural predators like frogs and birds….
So we got to the Barrows, and we started looking around. We ran into a bunch of Skelletons – Note, ya gotta destroy the stone in their head, not just dislodge it, and they’re not effected by fire or psychic magics – we made short work of them, bumped into some zombies…wiped tha floor with those jokers, then found a secret room holding the corpse of one of the missing adventurers.
Unfortunately we were running out of daylight, and had to head back to town. Once we got outside – tha body of the fallen adventurer strapped to a trusty mule we brought with – this reject in Plate armor slank out of the muck from which he motha left him along with eight cowardly cutthroats, and demanded we turn over all we had, plus our weapons, or he was gonna kill us. Well we told this batch of dingleberries that THAT, wasn’t gonna happen.
We filleted half his criminal cohort, put the other four to sleep, and were ringing this Mason the Metal like a bell but man, that plate armor is thick. Seeing that he was about meet his end, he ran off. Hopefully the swamp took him, but only the good die young, and this guy is dog excrement, so he’s out there somewhere….
Beware friends. This blackguard is lurking out there, and someone may be feeding him information about when adventurers are going out. If you got information about this guy, be sure to let me, or one of the Tortletonis know… cuz this guy, and anyone like him… needs to sleep with the fishes if good adventurers are to make their way in the Barrows…
Anthony “Tony The Tool” Tortletoni
P.S. We’re saw some evidence of followers of Nurgle down in the Barrows. Be careful, cuz those guys are nasty and dangerous.