Hear Yee, Hea Yee!!!
Dark Magic is AFOOT! Hold on to your butts! Or bodies for that matter!!!
Commin’ at ya, is ya boy Anthony AKA “Tony-the-Trouble-Shooter” Tortletoni with the latest report!
We – the Tortletoni Family – was heading deep into the Barrows when we heard some human screams calling for help. We rushed to the rescue and found quite a strange sight! At first it looked like there were two adventurers wailing away on a zombie – which would be pretty standard fare for the barrows – but quickly those adventurers revealed themselves to be disguised wecubas that were attacking a SCREAMING ZOMBIE!!! Yup, you read that right…. we came upon a TALKING ZOMBIE!
After we saved that talkin’ zombie, we got to chatting, and it turned out that he was actually an Alladrin elven bard named Haywood who had woken up in his dead dwarven companion Renfro’s butchered body. How? He didn’t know….Why? Even more of a mystery. All he knew was that he was fiending something fierce to get his Lute back. So deeper into the barrows we went! We ended up finding it in a rather treacherous room with a statue of Nurgle, but the good news was that we found one of his companions there – down in a trap – and were able to get him up and out. He was pretty banged up, but we got them back to town. Now we just gotta figure out where the Elf’s body went, and what sorta tom-fuckery is going on down in the barrows.
So as a reminder keep your friends close when you’re out there fellow adventurers! It seems some pretty knarly stuff is afoot, and it don’t seem like it’ll be letting up anytime soon!
We also had a good chat with Maza the Wizard. If you haven’t met him, just know he can be a little standoffish at first. He’s a pretty studious dude, and it seems like a lot of folks maybe haven’t given him the respect such a learned guy deserves. So ya know, put some respect on his name when you’re chatting with him, and I think he’d appreciate it!
Anywho! See you beautiful people around! Hopefull over a slice of Za, and know that your buddies the Tortletonis are always here to lend a hand if ya need one!
Anthony AKA “Tony-The-Tool” Tortletoni